My Dis-Orientation

I wanted to show you my world
I wanted to share with you my life
There is so much I could have shown you
But life didn’t let us be
All the same, I’m glad I met you,
I’m happy we got this close
I’m content that I got to know you,
I will always adore you as my very own
You are always here in my head, with me
It makes it harder to let you go
Whenever you smile it reminds
Why I care for you so much
You messed me up so much though
You were all I thought I wanted
But now if I had it my way
i would have never met you
Back and forth inside my head
I cannot hide this confusion
I am unable to find the words to describe it
All these mixed emotions, all the pain I feel
They all lead back to you
I can’t sleep, afraid that when I close my eyes,
When I’m alone, I would dream of you
My words are so cold and
I don’t want them to hurt you
But this pain is like a terminal illness
With no cure and I’m bitter
Because I never get what I want
My thoughts are chocking on you
As I watch my self make the same mistakes
Again and again, it’s so hard to trust
Even when I find one unaffected
My feelings I hide as I have no faith
I’m confused, I’m confused, totally disorientated
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