Assaulted by Depression #1

This morning isn’t the same
But it isn’t different from
All the others that has been and gone
I am still unsure and confused
Still dependent and wrapped in emotions
Covered in sadness like thick oil of black depression
But I can’t find anyone to share my burden with
It assaults my brain and takes away my joy
I’m living a nightmare and i can’t seem to wake from it,
Feels like I’m trapped outside the gates of heaven
Since i will not see heaven. i just feel like ending it all
This pain is too real and It’s too much to bare
The journey’s too long to carry on
And I can’t see the importance of my being
My world is caving in, my peace is destroyed
There is nothing to save me from my insanity
There is no one to stop my world from ripping into pieces
This pain can’t seem to heal
I can’t stop my suffering, I can’t ease my pain
I feel so alone, I feel so rejected
I’m trying to hide my emotions
But there’s only so many times I can smile
I’m breaking up and I can’t stop this ache
I’m calling out but no one is responding
I’m reaching out but no one is reaching back
I’m dying inside, I’m in despair
Mama, where are you?
I thought you would always be there for me?
Dear Lord I can’t take it any more
Daddy, I’m so sorry, so sorry
I can’t be the man you thought me to be
I’ve become fragile and my soul is weak
I have tried and I thought It would get better
But it gets worse day by day and I cannot function
Something has hold of me and it won’t let go
Can you feel my pain?
Can you hear my thoughts?
Can you see my fears?
I’m losing touch with my senses
I have fallen into the golden lake and
I’m drowning in a river of hopelessness
I need to break free from this pain of slow burn
But this storm is relentless and
It’s only aim is to devour me and make me
Fall and vanish without a trace
If tomorrow comes and I am no more
I hope you know I loved you all and
I wasn’t just a son, a brother or a friend
I was more than that
I’m leaving this world of pain and sorrow
Seek me in the deepest ocean dancing
To a broken motion, and I am so regretful
I feel cold from my head to my feet
My lifeless body limp and bleak
Robbed of breath without a word
Oh my goodness, my light is out
I’m dying, I’m dying
I’m breathless, I’m breathless
Still unheard
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