Untittled #2

Rejection after rejection
Denial after denial
Complex after complex
Mistakes after mistakes
Regret after regret
Yet I have learned nothing
I chase the wrong ones
I give to the ones that do not deserve
I lay with the ones I shouldn’t
I love without commitment
I tire from this endless pursuit of nothing
Wasted energy, wasted time, wasted love
I seek the ones that do not notice me
I crave of the glance from the ones that are far
I dream of a beautiful ending
I want to believe in love
I want to believe in myself
But how can I, when I am so weak
Driven by sinful desires
Inspired by the beauty of another
I have not prepared myself for the outcome
In the case that everything goes against me
I have conditioned my brain to be weak
My thoughts are not my own
My actions are not my doing
My words are so painful, it strikes through
The core of your heart and destroys
Your faith in me and I cannot bear
The hurt in your eyes
The need for me to be better
The need for me to be the one
The need for me to love you
The need for me to need you
The need for me to want you
The need for me to fight for you
I cannot take being alone with you
Your sweet words are nothing but
The sound of metals smashing against each other
As you think of me, I spare no thoughts for your feelings
I can’t be the man I have become
His ways are foreign to me
His agenda is flawed
His character is weak
His ways are tedious
He speaks without caution
He loves but no one
He rejects love, even love from his own soul
He sins without care
He is nothing without love
I see the way people gravitate towards him
I do not understand, why do they not see what I see?
i don’t see the potential they see
Is the image distorted to me?
Enough of my uncompromising ways
Enough of this insanity
I must return to the old me

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